Clogged Pipes

This an anonymous editorial/advertisment.

You know, there's a real problem these days on Furcadia. There are so many dreams on Allegria that it is so crowded. Everyone knows that, but no one seems to say anything about the portal clogging problem that is infecting our great realm.

Yeah, that's right. Portal clogging. You see, there is so much scum that goes through many of the dream portals on Furcadia that it is getting harder and harder to get in the dreams. You might have noticed how long it takes to get into dreams lately. Like Sanctuary. It takes forever to get in there! That's because of all the scum going in there and it gets left behind on the walls of the portal, and it makes it really slow to go in now. It's crazy!

Lots of dreams are really slow now. Like, don't even think about trying to get in the Randomism dream. That portal is so clogged it takes like three hours to get in, if you're lucky. Another really bad one is Water City. Oh my GOSH!! That portal is so full of crap by now, you would never want to go near that dream ever again. And so many furres go into that dream that it makes some really bad traffic jams. Just look at this clip.

Phoenix5000: come on!!!
Phoenix5000: PUSH!!!!
Vladimonious: I'm trying! It's not my fault you're so fat!
Phoenix5000: shut up
Phoenix5000: OW! wut wuz that?
Morbid Silence: My foot. _
Morbid Silence stomps Phoenix.
Phoenix5000: OW!
Vladimonious: ...
Phoenix5000: something is biting my toes!
Phoenix5000: EWWW its sliding up my leg!!!
Vladimonious: It might be Klass.
Phoenix5000: EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!
Phoenix5000: get me outta here!@!!

Water City's portal has gotten so bad that some of the, shall we say, 'heftier' furres can't get into the dream at all sometimes. Sometimes a furre will just get stuck at the entrance of the portal and they can't do anything but just sit there. Other furres will come by and laugh and gawk at them, and the poor furres have to just sit there like morons and hope that someone will help them out. Usually, it ends up that an Owsla has to come over and pull them out. And the Owsla don't like doing this, so they aren't real nice about it.

There was one such incident recently. Here's a clip.

Gaurdian CRS: well i'm not going anywhere
Saiyan Prince Vegeta: Get your fat ass outta there CRS
Gaurdian CRS: i cant! i'm stuck
Xerp grabs crs
Xerp pulls
Gaurdian CRS: OWW!
Gaurdian CRS: xerp is trying to kill me
Xerp: no im not
KeeZy: Ok. What the HELL is going on here?
Gaurdian CRS: i cant get out
Xerp: hes stuck
KeeZy: Yeah right, and I'm popular.
KeeZy uses his Owsla powers to pull Gaurdian CRS out of the portal.
Gaurdian CRS: thanks man
KeeZy: Ok, now get out of my sight before I boot you.
Vladimonious: Oh boot me! BOOT ME!

So anyway, this is really becoming a big problem and something needs to be done. If action isn't taken, before we know it there will be nothing on Allegria Island and other dream maps but a bunch of dreams with furre heads sticking out, going "WAWAWAWAWAWA!!!" Please, support the CRS (Council for Removing Scum) and help us convince Felorin to fund our organization. We can't do it without each and every one of you!

Princess Mika: Help me! I don't want to die like this!