The Random News

We don't report the news daily. We don't report it weekly. We report it randomly. Maybe we'll report more tomorrow, maybe we won't. Ha!

Top Story: Hell No, We Won't Clothe

In Water City, earlier today, there was a bit of a commotion. Apparently, some of the furres there became sick and tired of being forced to wear clothes. They examined the Water City Constitution and interpreted it in the following manner:

One cannot not never wear no clothes, or not, unless it's not specifically not stated by someone who is not a Senator, or not otherwise nonstated. However, unless the Rah doesn't not decide that the previous nonstatements aren't not true, then the Rah may not decide that it is not necessary to not eject the offending furre.

Tossing the copy of the Constitution in the water, they decided to have a protest regardless. Several furres, including Merle, Burma, Philantha, Makanshi, Valkaria and Shorah, tore of the shackles known commonly as clothes, and proceded to block off a certain non-critical road in the city. Klass eventually showed up, and was torn as to what to do. He didn't like what he saw in one regard, but he really liked what he saw in another. He let them stand around for a while, but eventually his trigger finger got itchy and he found that ejecting furres was much more exciting than staring at naked women.

Merle: I really think we're breaking some ground here. Even though we may all be ejected and banned from Water City, it is possible that our children won't have to live in a world bound by dress codes and so-called "decency". Hopefully, the Constitution will be rewritten by someone more qualified, so that the point can be better emphasized. DOWN WITH PANTS!

Natalie: Turkey sausage! Yum!


RainbowBliss: HELL NO WE WONT GO!!
Fyre Inferno: HELL NO WE WON'T GO!!

Tibal: It's an orgy! Join us!

Kiwi Lotto Bot: i'll kill you all!!!

Shenna: This is WAR!!

phoenix2000: @*#^$^@#(#&(@!)&$#(*@(*!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Philantha: What a crock! Harhar.

Makanshi: No comment. HEY! I said NO COMMENT! GET AWAY FROM ME YOU PIECE OF *BANG* *BAM* ---

Klass: They weren't doing anything illegal, but I didn't like the way Makanshi had her hair done, so I kicked her out of there. As for the rest of the furres I ejected... well, they can bite me. Water City rules! And I rule it! _

Vinca Gassed

It was a relatively normal evening in the Vinca, when suddenly some sort of toxic gas blew in from the southwest area of the building. The gas immediately rendered furres who came into contact with it unconscious. In the photo above, taken by a Vinca security camera, we see how quickly the gas acted. Some furres tried running away, but it was in vain. Eventually, Owsla Helper arrived and cleared the gas out of the area. All affected furres eventually woke up, and seemed woozy, but unharmed. The true origin of the gas in still unknown, although there are a few theories.

1. The gas is a new lag clearing device being tested by Felorin.

2. The gas has always been there, but the amount was never enough to be noticed. Entropy Serpent found that, by hacking to the server and changing a few register values in the stack, he could increase the rate of gas production and get his @#%$ing revenge.

3. vicious vole had an overdose of chili and beans, and figured the best place to go would be the Vinca, where no one would notice. However, he didn't predict how strong it would be.

The New Furcadia Order

There is a new order emerging in Furcadia, and it's not the dragons as many suspected. It's an even more elite and secret group of furres known as the ButterFlyz. Not much is known about them at the moment, but through our excellent connections we have obtained some secret information. Although Felorin is officialy named as the Big Cocoon, which is their title for the leader of the group, it seems that this is only the "face" of their organization. From the information that we were given, it seems that the true mastermind behind the group is Emerald Flame, and that she plans for the ButterFlyz to take over Furcadia, once their forces are strong enough. First on her agenda is the mass destruction of the Sanctuary, which she believe will gain her the trust of the Furcadia public. She then would use that new trust against them, making it easier to place herself as lord and master of Furcadia, and making everyone her mindless slaves.

But these are only rumors.

The above photo was provided to us by a member of the group who wishes only to be known as Shadow K. Or was it S. Kestrel? Well, it's one of those two, we're sure. Anyway, in the photo, we see Ryhn being initiated into the group, while Wooly waits to be sacrificed to the Master Egg.