An Anonymous Veteran Speaks Out on the Coming Furcadia Update

DISCLAIMER: The thoughts and opinions of the anonymous Furcadia veteran do not reflect the views of Furcadian Randomism or its staff, who consider the opinions of a Furcadian veteran worthless.

Hello Furres.

I've been on Furcadia for something like 6, 7 years now, and I'm proud to be a Furcadia veteran. I think all newbies should listen to what I have to say, because I have the wisdom and experience that comes only with such a vast amount of Furcadia playing hours, as I have.

When I first logged on Furcadia, I was presented with two choices for species, feline or equine. I chose equine of course. Nobody wants to be a feline. I couldn't really think of an interesting name, so I named myself Guest1. I wandered around a little bit looking for someone else who was playing. Finally, I typed in 'who else is on the server right now' (we didn't have the luxury of Ctrl-W in those days) and found that I was the only one online. I stood by a tall pine tree for a while, wishing there was a pillow or something I could sit on, when finally I saw another furre. To my surprise, it was a feline. It was obviously a male, though he seemed to be wearing some sort of dress. I shrugged and assumed it was feline tradition. He extended his paw and said "Greetings, mortal. My name is Felorin. Welcome to Furcadia!" We shook paws, and I introduced myself. We chatted for a good long 6 or 7 hours or so. I told him about my pillow dilemma, and he agreed that pillows were needed and that he would get his girlfriend to design some. Finally, he excused himself to go work on a bug that caused your computer's processer to melt whenever you stepped in a certain floor type. He told me to feel free to wander around and explore, so I did.

I wandered around Furcadia mostly by myself for a few days. There wasn't much to see, because at this time Furcadia had only one map, and it consisted of nothing but the pine tree and a small area of grass around it. I named the pine tree the Wisdom Tree because it just looked really old and wise, and because I was really bored. Eventually, some other furres started appearing. Felorin decided to install another species, because hardly anybody wanted to be feline, and a lot thought the equines looked ugly. So Felorin added canines, good looking and desirable. This satisfied most for a while. I started meeting some new friends, like Solarisa and Target and Mech and Talzhemir. I finally got tired of the name Guest1, so I changed it to the name everybody knows me as these days, which I won't mention because I'm writing this essay anonymously.

Furcadia grew day by day. There were eventually portals to other maps. One day, Felorin gathered us veterans-to-be together and introduced us to 'dreams', maps we could design ourselves. He said we could also write 'script' files to make our dreams do neat things. At first, these scripts files had to be written in ASM, but after a few weeks, Felorin created his own scripting language called DragonSpeak for us to use, because we kept crashing the server with our corrupted ASM.

Anyway, I don't mean to ramble. I just wanted to introduce myself a bit and explain some of the hardships we veterans endured in those early days of Furcadia. The big talk now is about the upcoming Furcadia update. Everyone is like, "Ooh, I want this and I want that." "When I log on Furcadia, I want to start where I left off." "I want to upload dreams in other dreams." "I want more species." "I want more objects." Newbies these days don't appreciate what they have. Not only can they sit without pillows, but they can lie down whenever they want, just by hitting a couple buttons. In my day, we couldn't lie down. Hell, we couldn't even use INS and DEL to turn in place. We had to walk around in circles until we got the position we wanted.

Everybody wants more objects. More objects, MORE OBJECTS!! I mean, there's over 600 objects now. Back in the day, we only had 3 objects: a tree, a pile of hay, and the red rubber ball. We didn't complain. And when somebody decided to kick the red ball around endlessly, making that incredibly annoying noise, could we hit Ctrl-P to shut it off? NO! We LIVED with it, and we were HAPPY! These days, furres complain that they have to hit ctrl-p every time they log on. Hey, you're lucky you even have the choice!

I don't mean to sound bitter, but before you start complaining about what you don't have, think a little bit about what you DO have. Try to imagine life in Furcadia without whispers, ignores, or Ctrl-S/F9. Think about those veterans, who made Furcadia what it is today, with little or no credit. Think about those veterans who had to hit Ctrl-Alt-Del and End Task to log off Furcadia before Felorin installed Ctrl-X. Without us, Furcadia would never have existed long enough for you to find it.

And don't even get me started on the Owsla... bunch of know-nothing newbies...

Yours always,

A deeply concerned veteran